IN THE BATH – Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
Tim Fitzhigham – 1848090250; £12.99
If you were to see the words “Mad in Great Britain”, you would probably assume that someone had made a typo, but in fact, this is what the sanitary-ware company Thomas Crapper emblazoned on Tim Fitzhigham’s ‘family seat’ after he had made a trip across the Channel in one of their baths, in recognition of the sheer eccentricity of the exploit. It was only the second commemorative artefact in their nearly 150-year history, the previous one being made in honour of Queen Victoria’s Golden Jubilee.
Given that the author’s “day-job” is as a stand-up comedian, you would expect this to be an amusing account, and there are certain touches which – even if embellished for effect - sum up the British attitude to unconventional behaviour perfectly. As an example, when the shipping licence for his bath (actually more of a bathroom, given the modifications that he needed to make, including the substitution of a showerhead for the requested masthead) was issued, describing the third-of-a-tonne vessel as a ‘sports boat’, there was a covering note: “In it the thoughtful men and women at the Ministry wrote that they expected the French Navy might wish to see the licence so suggested I keep it with me at all times, even and especially, at sea. To help me, they’d made sure that my licence was waterproof”.
The initial purpose of the trip was to raise money for Sports Relief, but the feat seems to have taken on a life of its own and the conversational style gives the impression that the tale is being told to the reader alone – and leaves you wondering just what he might do next - although his website describes him as “Comic, Shenaniganist, Speaker” so it could be anything....
The fact that Tim Fitzhigham was a member of the Watermen & Lightermen’s Company appears to have stood him in good stead as he made his way back from France around the Kent coast and on towards Tower Bridge where his challenge was (almost) at an end: there was still the minor matter of meeting the Queen, who apparently seemed very amused by his exploits – as will any reader of this laugh-out-loud epic.
And for anyone who is used to DVD ‘extras’, there are also appendices which include a history of the bath – taking in Agamemnon, Seneca and James the First in addition to the more expected Marat – and a Cocktail List: a perfect book to take with you on holiday.